20 September 2017

Marketers and bloggers are lunatics

It's your first day at your new job. For the first time in ages you've taken extra care to make sure your shirt is properly ironed. You even polished your shoes. You feel tip-top.

You arrive at the office wanting to make a great impression. To prove you're the right one for the job and that you got it on merit. You do amazing work. This is your time to shine.

You walk in through the front door and introduce yourself to the cheerful receptionist, decling his offer of a coffee because you're pretty nervous which means you're already bursting for a piss. He says your new boss is expecting you and to just go straight up. 

You only have to get to the first floor but you take the lift because you don't want to seem out of breath after climbing one flight of stairs. Remember: good impression.

You quickly check your appearance in the lift mirror. Looking good. The doors open and your boss is walking swiftly towards you, big smile on her face with an outstretched hand. 

"Great to see you again," she says. "I was so glad when you accepted the offer. I've shown the team some of your work and they can't wait to meet you."

You manage to splutter a "thanks" and hope she hasn't noticed your face turning a severe shade of crimson. 

"The first thing I want you to know," she says as she beckons you into her office, "is that we're a tight-knit family here and if you need something all you have to do is ask."

You look her dead in the eyes. "Give me a pay rise."

"Erm... no?"


Only a complete lunatic would say this the first time they interact with a new boss. 

Any reasonable person knows that first you have to offer value before asking for something in return. And not just for a short time. You have to provide value frequently and generously. Go the extra mile. Maybe pull some late shifts and pull large rabbits out of tiny hats.

Yet these very same reasonable people are the ones that serve you a full-screen pop up on their website within five seconds of landing. You know the ones I mean. 

"Enter your email to receive these posts each day". 
No. I haven't had the chance to read one yet. How do I know they're any good?

"Get our free ebook about how to crush it at your next job interview"
I'm reading an article about what might be causing my dog to fart so much. How is this related?

Or my absolute favourite (absolute fucking worst)...

"We'd really appreciate it if you could take 5 minutes to fill out our quick survey and let us know how we're doing"
I've been on your site for less time than it takes a photon of light to get from my bedside lamp into my eyeball. I'll tell you exactly how I think you're doing so far and it won't take me five bloody minutes!

These stupid pop-ups have the result of us losing trust. We realise that all they want to do is take, take, take. We feel like pawns in their game. A data point. 

You know how to get people to sign up to your email list, to like your Facebook page or to download your ebook? Provide value first. Make your offering so damn good that they'll be seeking your offers and surveys out on their own accord. Give, give, give. And most importantly win their trust

Trust is the scarcest resource in the 21st century. Do everything you can to maximise it. Don't be a lunatic. 

by Nino Rosella