10 October 2017
Raising your hand can(not) kill you
I just went to a talk by Dan Jones about his superb new book The Templars. Following the talk there was the inevitable Q&A session.
I had a question lined up, but just as I was about to raise my hand and ask my question in front of a packed-out room and award-winning author and TV presenter I turned into an absolute bottle-merchant.
Why? Ooh I'll tell you exactly why.
I thought to myself: Don't be that guy, Nino. It's a stupid question and everybody is going to burst into uncontrollable laughter. Someone will video it, put it online and it'll go viral. You'll never be able to get a date ever again. But that's the least of your worries. You'll never be able to get another job again. At least not without a whole new identity in a non-English speaking country. With no job you'll be forced onto the streets. Heroin addiction. Overdose. Death.
So I kept my hand down. But then out of nowhere I had a second wind. I was going to ask the question and I don't care how much death I suffered.
Then just as I was about to raise my hand - you guessed it: "Okay, let's wrap the Q&A up there, folks".
The thing that really irks me is that I know the cure to this drummed-up ailment. It's simply to force yourself into the arena. To dance with the fear. Time and again.
It's one of the reasons I started a daily blog. At first, the self-doubt was almost as crippling. But I now know that with practice and good habits it's easy to see that nothing bad ever comes from putting yourself out there in a constructive manner.